What does it mean to REALLY trust God? I am learning a whole new level of trust right now. We are expecting our fourth baby at the end of July. We are excited about this new life but we (and everyone else) are wondering what this does to our timeline of returning to Africa.
My first response was that if we prayed enough and really believed that God could, we would be funded to return in May before the baby came. We would love to go back before baby because if we stay it will be September or October before we could return because of the paperwork and passport for the baby. Our hearts are ready to be back in Africa serving Jesus in the role we are called to. So we prayed. I asked others to pray. And I know God COULD bring in the needed 50% of our support. He did it last time. In less than 3 months, God provided the money we needed to get to Uganda the first time. So I thought that it was a matter of trusting Him to provide.
Then, as I was praying about the gender of our baby, my heart was crying out for a girl. I love my boys, but I would love to have a girl as well. To make dresses for her, to do her hair, to play dolls with. So again, I prayed and thought that if I asked, and had faith and would just trust enough, then God would move mountains. Isn't that what Matthew 17:20 says? If you have the faith of a mustard seed, you can move mountains.
It was during this time that Jesus spoke to my heart. He gently asked, "Do you trust me?" And I replied, "I'm trying my best to trust you." He smiled, (I could hear it in His voice), "Meg, are you trying to trust that I will give you what you want, or do you trust me that I will take care of you and that I know what is best?"
I was stopped in my tracks. Trust is not about believing that my faith will give me what I want. Trust is knowing that God loves me, and has a great plan for me. Trust is letting Him lead, provide and take care of me. It is believing that God has got my back and has my best interest in mind. I can depend on Him.
I asked Scott what trust means to him. So he looked it up in the dictionary. Did you know comes from the word 'strong'? It is something you can depend on. Something you believe is strong enough. It's not some superhero power that Christians are supposed to have. It is knowing God is bigger and stronger.
So, we are having a baby! If it's a girl, I get to praise God. If it's a boy, I get to praise God. If we leave in May or if we leave in the fall, we know that God has a plan for us. There is so much freedom knowing that we are doing all we can do to serve Him and that His timing is best. We are trusting that God knows better than us. We just keep praying for His will.